Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
