well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
