I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
