I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
