He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
