I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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