I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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