i would punch a child for taco bell
She announced her abortion via fbk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
