Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
