I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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