sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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