just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
