I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize