If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
