Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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