he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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