i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
