At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
