Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
