Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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