It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
