What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize