the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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