Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
