i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
