I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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