He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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