yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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