She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
