Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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