She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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