Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
