Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
