I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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