So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize