I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
