I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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