Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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