I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
