i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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