Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
