White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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