I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize