who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You did what with his pubic hair?
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