just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
