There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
