so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
