thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
