So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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