you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
