I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
false alarm, still single
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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