Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
