Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
