yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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