mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize