glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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