My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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