last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
