i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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