yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
