I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
