i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
