I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
