thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
