he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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