so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
