some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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