Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
