How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
