so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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