i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
