the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
