i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
what day is it and did you see me today?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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