What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
false alarm, still single
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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