I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
