How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Let's paint friendship bongs
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
